Thursday, February 25, 2016

I'm an Extrovert - Who Knew?

This week I dove into chapters 3 & 4 of #Bettertogetherbook.  Jill had us take an MPI (Mothering Personality Inventory).  I was surprised to learn I am an extrovert.  I emotionally refuel by being with people.  One way Jill describes an extrovert is that she has a large network of friends and makes friends easily.   My whole life I would have told you I was an introvert, because I do not do well in large groups or new settings.  I'm just shy and it takes me a while to warm up to people.  Trevor is very much an introvert.  The idea of living alone in a cave is one of his dreams.  It sounds like torture to me.  As you can guess the way that we recharge has affected our marriage.   I've learned to give him space when he comes home from work and not get upset when he wants to hangout in the bedroom alone. 

The rest of the quiz did not surprise me at all.  I'm an internal processor, which means I think about things a lot before reacting.  I'm an innie organizer, which means I like to have things organized.  I scored the highest on being a structured mom.  No surprise there, spontaneity is not in my vocabulary.   I'm also a medium high capacity person, which means I can multi task and get a lot done.  I also like to be busy!

During this phase of my life being a multi task person has caused me struggles.   Not all of my children can function at this pace.  I have always struggled with not being able to say no to things and people.  This year I have purposely slowed down.  I have had to say no to things that I really would like to do.  The quote that stuck out to me in these chapters is, "I'm capable but am I called?"  Wow - talk about conviction.  I can accomplish a lot, but if it is not what God has called me to do should I be doing it?   I'm still processing that, remember, internal processor.  

So what does all of this have to do with friendship?   A lot.  Image for a moment that you're me and have your days planned down to the minute.  A friend calls and wants to meet  you at the park that afternoon.  You say no.  Your friend is not a planner.  She calls again next week and the week after.  Every time you say no because you have a plan.  Before long this friendship could end.  Why?  Lack of communication.  Your friend isn't a planner and you are.  A little compromise on both sides could work out to planning a few playdates for your friend and you learning to throw away the schedule and go to the park for the day. 

Knowing where your strengths and struggles are can help you be a better friend.  My best friend is an external processor.  That means she needs to talk out everything!    How do I help?  I know that every scenario is not how she will deal with the situation.  She just needs to verbally  go over everything.  I help by being a sounding board for all of the information.

Want to know what your MPI is?  Jill has set up a fun quiz on the web site.  You can check it out here

The book is scheduled to launch on March 1st.  If  you preorder the book you can get a whole list of freebies.  Check out the web site for all the information:

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1 Corinthians 10:31