Grief is Weird

We are a week away from the 10th anniversary of my brother's death.   It's this time of year where I start to act weird.  I never know how the anniversary will hit me.  My anxiety is heightened as I fear breaking down in public.  Some years the days leading up to March 5th are the worst.  Other years it passes without a lot of emotions.  This year is different as  my grandma just passed away after Christmas.  It wasn't a shock, she had been fighting cancer for 10 years.  I think I am still in the denial stage of grief for her. 

I know those emotions are coming but I don't know when or how they will hit.  Grief is weird.  Until you have experienced it first hand I don't know how else to explain it.  I wish I could say I hope you don't ever have to but that would be unrealistic.  As my kids often say, everyone dies - it's part of life.  So we move on but it changes us.  To lose someone we love is hard.  Does it get easier?   Not really, you just learn to live with it.  Some days are easier, but you never get over missing the person.  Losing my brother so young and in a shocking way has made me savor life more.  We truly are not guaranteed tomorrow.  If you see me in the next few weeks and I seem weird just know I'm ok March is just a rough month for me.  Give me a hug and tell me a funny story about Bryan.  If you're grieving and want prayer - I'm your girl.  My family would not have got through the original shock without the peace of God.  As much as it hurts to miss Bryan, I know we will meet again.

Pray for my parents this month.  Not only is it the anniversary of Bryan's death but his birthday is in March as well.